


Fire In Every Sign of Winter

by Marasa



Series: Dream Eater [10]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Cute, Dairy Queen, First Date, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Milkshakes, Snow, Soft Boys, Winter, hand holding, rot your teeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-03 14:15:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marasa/pseuds/Marasa
Summary: “Dude, I'm freaking out.”That’s a complete understatement.





	1. Chapter 1

“Dude, I'm freaking out.”

That’s a complete understatement.

Josh can’t stop bouncing his leg or picking at his fingernails, hasn't been able to stop all morning. He hoped this drive would calm him but he only finds himself chewing at his thumbnail nervously as he sits between Michael and Jordan in their new car.

It’s the newest model of some truck, neat interior and no true function for the large truck bed in the back. It's almost too high-tech and nice for them, feeling like a spaceship more than anything.

Michael justifies the purchase by saying, ‘ _We really need a new car_ ,’ and, ‘ _I deserve it for all the shit you guys put me through._ ’

They guess that’s true, so they let him have it.

Michael’s a stand-up guy, though, because he deposits an open laptop in front of them a few night’s later with a quick say of how, ‘ _Maybe you should look at cars and text your favorites to me so I can tell Santa what you want for Christmas_.’

He and the rest of the house pick out a few vans that would make soccer mom’s and common criminals jealous. Tyler suggests they forego deep blue and instead get sleek black.

They expect to be driving in style this Christmas.

But the joy of Christmas and all the good things that await them seem worlds away, especially considering that Josh is pretty sure he won't make it go December, not when his heart is racing or his breathing is shotty like this.

Cause of death: pre-date jitters.

Outside the windshield, snow flurries down from the cloudy sky and piles up on the sides of the road. Josh’s anxiety is still eating him, but the memory of Tyler’s expression earlier that day brings a brief smile to Josh’s face as he watches the snow twirl through the chilly air.

It’s the first snow of the season and the spirit had been in complete awe.

Tyler had been sitting by the window by the back door, warm little kitten asleep in his lap. He couldn’t look away from the blanketed landscape outside, red eyes following the movement of snowflakes as they floated down. Tyler had been captivated, entirely shocked as though he were witnessing a miracle.

Josh kept glancing at him from the breakfast table where he was lacing up his Doc Marten’s, two pairs of socks over his freezing toes. A few of them were getting ready to pick up firewood before the house got too cold but Josh would have much rather stayed and cuddled the spirit on the couch.

Michael was getting his coat on. Jordan was on the couch, slipping on a beanie. Josh was too distracted to finish the bow on his foot as he watched Tyler sit in awe.

“You’ve seen snow before,” Josh said.

Tyler hummed, distracted. “I’ve only seen it in dreams…never seen it for real.”

“Is it better in person?”

Tyler’s red eyes reflected the snow falling from the cloudy sky. “It's amazing.”

Josh sighs blissfully as he thinks of one thing other than their impending date tonight for a brief moment- _God, he's beautiful._

Josh bites harder at his nail.

“I'm so fucking nervous,” Josh says. “Why am I so nervous? He's my best friend! I shouldn't be nervous!”

The men on either side of him sigh as this feels like the fiftieth time they've had this conversation this car ride alone.

Their initial jubilation of ‘ _Finally_!’ and, ‘ _Thank God; you two were driving us fucking crazy!_ ’ at the fact that Josh had indeed asked Tyler out has since simmered away and been replaced by annoyed murmurs of, ‘ _Shut up_ ,’ and, ‘ _Josh, c’mon_.’

But Josh just can't stop worrying about it; he barely got any sleep last night as all he could think about was all the ways he could fuck this date up and ruin his friendship with Tyler.

Even in this short time of knowing each other, Tyler is the one who knows his soul. He's never been as close to anyone as he is with Tyler.

Tyler’s his best friend and Josh shouldn't be nervous.

Yet, he's freaking out.

“But maybe that's why you _are_ feeling nervous,” Michael says. “He's your best friend. You have history together, you have something on the line.”

Josh’s breath quickens.

That was shitty wording.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey,” Michael tries to interfere but Josh is already heaving. “Breathe, Josh. Jesus- Jordan, help him.”

Jordan places a hand on his brother’s back and tries to coach him to breathe deeply. Josh can't get a full breath into his lungs.

“You want my inhaler?”

Josh nods, still panting. The mouthpiece of their shared inhaler pushes at his lips.

They don't know whose prescription it is. No one really has asthma. It belongs to whoever’s pocket it is sitting in. They've all sucked on it at one point or another. It's mostly empty and simply psychosomatic, not really doing much other than acting as a guide of how breathe deeply.

Josh sucks quickly, both men chiding him and telling him to take it easy. Jordan holds the inhaler for him and pushes the button so Josh doesn't have to worry about anything more than breathing.

Eventually he settles down as he manages to evade a full blown panic attack.

The inhaler is not even taken from his mouth for one second before Josh is back to rambling more of his fears.

“What if he gets bored during our date? Or what if he ends up being disappointed? What if he hates it? What if he doesn’t even wanna go on a date with me but said yes because he feels bad for me?”

Jordan groans.

“Josh, I knew you were stupid, but I didn't know you were this stupid,” his brother says. He turns to Josh with a roll of his eyes. “It's obvious Tyler is fucking head over heels for you- I'm sure whatever you have planned will be great.”

Josh blushes at that. Was that true? Tyler was...head over heels? Was it obvious? Why was he having trouble seeing it? Maybe he was fucking stupid.

Josh sighs softly.

“Tyler deserves the best.” Josh rubs his palms over his thighs nervously. “And I feel like I'm gonna mess it up. Somehow, someway, not even meaning to.”

Josh smacks his head. “Shit! I've already messed it up ‘cause now it's too late to get a reservation at a nice restaurant.”

He turns to his brother. “For a five star restaurant, you have to reserve a spot months in advance, right?

Jordan furrows his brow. “Five star restaurant?”

“Or a four star, but no less than that,” Josh says, so nervous that he's unaware of the absurdity of his statement.

“Josh, you go to a five star restaurant for, like, an anniversary date or something, not a first date.”

Josh huffs and squeezes his knees. Okay, okay. He’ll just have to adapt, find some other place for them to go.

Just another thing to worry about, on top of crazy scenarios he's thought up of spilling his drink all over Tyler or stuttering too much. At this point, he feels like it's inevitable.

“What if I embarrass myself?” Josh says.

“Like you are right now?” Jordan snickers.

Josh buries his face in his hands. “Fuuuuck.”

His brother pats his back.

“Seriously, dude, stop overthinking it. You've gone on dates before,” Jordan says. “Just approach it the way you did when you would take your girlfriends on dates. It's the same.”

It’s kind of dumb to say, they all know it. It's not the same. At all. Josh had never freaked out like this before. He had never cared this much before.

“I haven't gone on a date for almost two years,” Josh says. “And Tyler’s...different. He's so, so different.”

Tyler deserves the very best. He is unique and different and way out of Josh’s league.

Josh knew he was stupid, a stoner, a criminal. He wasn’t as deep or contemplative as Tyler and consistently felt far from understanding him even when he wanted nothing more than to be smart enough to appreciate every single thing that Tyler tried to explain to him.

Tyler deserves more. So, so much more.

Josh honestly believes he can't offer Tyler the best.

He shakes his head as the feeling of defeat and inadequacy settles within him. “Maybe I should just call it off.”

“No!” Michael and Jordan yell in unison.

Josh widens his eyes at their panicked outrage. It’s like they're just as invested in this date as he is. It makes him a little warm inside to know they actually care.

“Just relax and be yourself, alright?” Michael says.

Josh swallows roughly. He hopes it's enough.

The car comes to a stop in front of a quiet house now covered in snow. Tall trees pepper the property until it looks like they're almost in a forest or on the edge of one at least. A pile of chopped wood is stacked against the side, the windows glow warmly with the faint lamplight inside.

No wonder their friend, Gerard, insisted on living where no one would interrupt his art or his view of nature.

He chops his own wood out here. He drinks his coffee. He paints the day away.

It’s a heartwarming sight that looks like it belongs on a Christmas card. It's hard to believe such beauty can exist here in Ohio.

Michael turns off the truck by comically flipping a slew of switches and mashing ten buttons. They roll their eyes.

The engine cuts. The silence is blaring.

A firm yet comforting hand on his shoulder breaks Josh from the internal screaming of his anxiety. He turns to his older friend.

“Don't be the best,” Michael says. “Be yourself. _That_ is truly the best.”

Josh blinks for a few seconds before he groans and leans back on the fresh smelling seat because he knows Michael is right. Jordan chuckles at his side and wraps an arm around him in a brief hug.

Their support means everything but it can't calm the racing of Josh’s heart.

It's a kind of good racing. It's a mostly exhausting racing.

Ahead of the car, up the snowy front yard, they see the front door open.

In the doorway, a scruffy man stands in pajama pants and a black sweatshirt. His long black hair is tucked behind his ears and a cup of coffee is steaming in his right hand.

Gerard waves to them with his left hand.

They all wave back.

Josh’s wave is the weakest.

“Now hurry up and help us get this wood in the back,” Michael says. “Physical labor will distract you.”

The air is freezing when the car doors are finally forced open. It brings a chill of cold and nostalgia to drip down his spine.

Josh tries not to think about how nervous he is for tonight as he throws logs of cedar into the truck bed. Instead, he tries to focus on the memory of Tyler biting his lip, smiling as he watched the snow fall or how the spirit had murmured to himself, ‘Tonight,’ as he watched the snow and how that had had made Josh warm because Tyler was thinking about the date just as much as he was.

That fact makes Josh’s chest warm all over again.

His fingers are going numb, the snow is still falling and his heart is still tripping in his chest, but Josh is actually smiling.

Tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

Josh doesn't see Tyler when they get back home.

Their date is supposed to be at eight thirty. It's already eight fifteen and it's unnaturally quiet in the house. It makes him a little more nervous than he already is.

There’s no one in the living room, the kitchen, his bedroom. Josh’s heart races terribly at the possibility that Tyler might have gotten up and left so he didn't have to reject Josh to his face.

His chest aches sickeningly at the thought.

‘ _Meow_.’

Josh steps out of his empty bedroom and sees Blurry sitting outside of Hayley’s room. The small kitten stares up at the door and whines at being left out of whatever’s happening inside.

When Josh comes nearer, he can hear hushed voices coming from behind Hayley’s door.

Josh quirks an eyebrow. “Ty?”

“Wait! Don't come in!”

Josh takes a surprised step back at Hayley’s harsh volume.

“I wasn't, sheesh,” Josh mutters. Blurry meows at his feet.

“Uh, is Tyler in there?” Josh asks.

“Yes, he's in here. We’re helping him get ready.” Hayley sounds a little annoyed, her tone suggesting that the punk leave them alone.

The other voice that answers is more excited than pissed-off.

“We’ll be ready in ten minutes!”

Josh furrows his brow. “Mark’s in there?”

“Just go get dressed Josh,” he hears Hayley say as she presumably moves around the room but keeps the door shut.

Josh grumbles but goes to get dressed.

He picks a simple white t-shirt that's fitted semi-tightly on him. He puts on black jeans absent of any rips or holes and a pair of nicer boots.

He brushes his hair, brushes his teeth, gargles some mouthwash. He even sprinkles some cologne on his neck, picking a more earthy scent as he keeps Tyler’s preferences in mind.

He hasn't been this dressed up in a while but the surge of confidence he feels as he looks in the mirror is exactly what he needs to step outside the door.

Tyler still isn't done, Hayley’s door still closed as he moves down the hall.

Josh ends up sitting nervously on the couch as he waits for his best friend, his date, the person he is completely head over heels for.

He'd been on dates before, had dated before, most of which are girls he can't remember the names of back in high school.

A few weeks, a month or two at most- they never lasted. He was only semi-interested in them, had never been in love.

Josh was pretty but he was punky. The girls really liked him but only stuck around until their reputation was on the line.

He was a skateboarder who liked loud music and who had a taste for weed- his image didn't really fit in with the cheerleaders who loved him.

He had only connected with a few of them, had only missed a few of them when they left him. He was a fine date, always was polite, but he had never felt this way.

Tyler was different. Tyler was something more.

Tyler made his heart beat faster and a smile come to face and brought him a comforting warmth to blossom deep in his chest.

Josh taps his feet, wrings his hands in his lap. He looks around the room and stews in the nervous silence.

Even though he knows he doesn't deserve Tyler at all, Josh hopes he can be enough for him.

Then, the sound of Hayley’s door opening resonates down the hall. Josh can feel his heart racing even faster, anxiety twisting in his gut. Soft footsteps come closer, stopping as they enter the room.

With a deep breath to steady himself, Josh finally turns around to his date.

He gapes.

Tyler stands at the entrance of the living room in floral vans, black skinny jeans and a floral button down shirt. His hair is just a little fluffier, styled a bit. His cheeks are already dusted red at the attention he's getting, eyes focused on the ground nervously.

“Wow,” is all Josh can manage to say.

Tyler glances up at him with a shy smile. Josh stands from the sofa without breaking eye contact. He just can't stop looking at him.

“Y-You look good,” Josh says. “Uh, great, actually! More than great-”

“Okay, Josh, we get it,” Hayley says with a roll of her eyes and a smile. She gives Tyler a gentle push and a quick whisper of how they should probably get going.

The pair walk towards each other almost in a daze, amazed with each other. Tyler stops in front of Josh no less than a foot away, eyes drifting up and down his body as a small, bashful smile tugs at his lips.

“Y-You look really good too, Joshua,” Tyler whispers. He seems to hesitate for a moment but can't keep himself away from Josh as he wraps his arms around his torso and squeezes him tightly.

Josh hugs him back.

The punk can feel the excitement and the anxiety in the spirit’s tense muscles. It makes Josh lean down and immediately start whispering in his ear soothing words of, ‘ _Baby_ ,’ and ‘ _Beautiful, so beautiful_ ,’ because he feels like Tyler should never have to be anxious about anything like this, even if he himself is.

Tyler hums quietly at the sweet words falling from Josh’s lips and nuzzles his nose against the side of Josh’s neck. He breathes in deeply. His arms tighten around Josh just a little more.

“You, um...smell really good, too.”

Josh laughs quietly at the ticklish feeling and the sweetness of the statement. Tyler buries his face further in the musky smell of his neck shyly. Josh can feel the spirit’s soft smile against his pulse.

“Alright,” Hayley says, “don't you two need to be getting somewhere?”

Josh looks up. He had almost forgotten they were still there.

They’re trying to look nonchalant but they're doing a shit job at it.

Michael and Jordan are in the kitchen looking like they're cookin something but they keep glancing up at them, smiling. Hayley’s smirking as she grabs Blurry from off the table. Mark isn't even trying to play off staring at them as he has his hands up over his mouth and he’s bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet excitedly.

All their friends are rooting for them.

Their support means everything.

They slip on jackets, forget the mittens and beanies. It's cold, but they'll be fine without the extra winter wear. They give a small wave before leaving out the front door, but not before hearing a collective cheer of everyone inside.

They smile together when they hear Blurry’s tiny meow in the ruckus as well.

They take the new truck. It's quiet during the car ride for the most part. Josh turns on the radio but none of the stations are playing anything good. He finds one that's playing Christmas music ( _already_?) and keeps it to that station, turning down the volume.

Josh looks over at Tyler.

He’s looking out the window. His hands twist in his in his lap. He’s murmuring something to himself quietly as if he's rehearsing a line.

“Everything okay?” Josh asks softly. Tyler jumps a little and glances over at him.

“Y-Yeah.”

“You sure?” Josh says.

Tyler doesn't look at him this time. He instead looks out the window, gaze anxious, brow furrowed, lips twitching.

The sight breaks Josh’s heart.

“Hey, talk to me, Ty,” Josh urges gently. “What's wrong?”

“I-I…” Tyler begins and Josh’s anxiety immediately steps in to create the worst case scenario.

He's already preparing himself for Tyler to say to take him home, that he doesn't feel the same way, just forget this ever happened. He'd be upset, sure, but Tyler’s comfort is the most important thing.

Josh would do anything for him.

“I-I’ve, um…” Tyler clears his throat, taps his thigh. “I've never been...on a date before. I just...don't wanna mess it up.”

He looks genuinely nervous, like this had been on his mind for a while. Josh goes slack with the revelation, his chest flutters.

“Tyler, hey,” Josh says, “you're not going to mess it up. There's no way that you could. I'm the one who's worried about messing it up.”

Tyler looks up at him. “So we're both nervous?”

Josh smiles. “Completely.”

The rest of the car ride is much more comfortable after their confessions of nervousness. They talk about Christmas music and how ridiculous this car is.

When Tyler laughs, Josh feels like he's won all the trophies in the world or something.

He may have been nervous at first but now he's feeling good, they both are.

Josh only gets nervous again when he parks in the parking lot. They look through the windshield at the establishment they will be eating at for their first ever date.

Tyler reads the glowing sign that blinks brightly over the empty parking lot. “Dairy…Queen.”

Josh blushes, embarrassed.

“I mean, we could, uh, go to a real restaurant if you wanted to. Like a, uh, Italian place? With, like, waiters and menus and stuff,” Josh stutters, blinks hard as he focuses hard on what he's trying to say. “I just thought this would be a little more chill. No one ever comes here, so it’ll be like we have the whole place to ourselves.”

Josh’s heart pounds in his chest. He only calms minutely when he sees Tyler smile.

“No.” Tyler turns to him. “This is perfect, Joshua.”

Josh smiles too. “Okay.”

As soon as they’re out of the car, their hands are instantly connected. Josh opens the door for Tyler, the spirit murmuring a quick ‘ _Thank you_ ,’ with a heavenly smile.

It's pleasantly warm inside the empty fast food restaurant. They shake the snow off their coats and stomp their feet. Tyler reaches up ruffles Josh's blue hair to rid the azure strands of any snow. Josh smiles brightly and does the same to Tyler.

The bored employee behind the counter is half-asleep and doesn't care to notice Tyler’s red eyes. He simply takes their orders of two cheeseburgers with fries and gives them their receipt.

“By the window?” Josh asks with a nod toward a booth by the far window. The falling snow is visible outside as is the adjacent park. Swing sets are covered in snow, the soccer field is a stretch of clean white under the expanse of darkness that is the early winter night.

Tyler nods, captivated by the sight.

They sit across from each other in the booth and look out the window. They fall into talking about the snow and winter as they wait for burgers to arrive to their table, small talk that is admittedly a little awkward and shy.

Soon enough, though, they're opening up and talking more comfortably about anything, everything- tv shows, Blurry, what Tyler thinks of Mark's idea to get an ironic meme tattoo.

“I think it's funny,” Tyler says, “but you know who's not gonna think it's funny?”

“Most people,” Josh chuckles.

Tyler smiles, laughing beautifully. “Most people!”

Sitting here is a lot like hanging out but there's something...more. The way they look at each other is somehow warmer, the way they smile is giddy, their body language is flirtatious, their laughter is lovely.

The get into discussing deeper, more personal things, like Josh’s dream of being a musician when he was younger or how Tyler really wishes he could play an instrument. They'd never talked about anything like that before and it's like they're seeing a new part of each other.

“You like music?” Josh asks, only noticing how stupid it is to ask that after he's said it. “I mean, of course you like music. But you'd like to play music?”

“Y-Yeah,” Tyler says shyly, shrugging. “I don't know. I think I could do it.”

“I think that's amazing,” Josh says, genuine. “I think you'd be really good at it, Tyler.”

Tyler looks up at him. “Yeah? You really think so?”

Josh's eyes glimmer with adoration. “Yeah.”

Their meals are delivered to them in little red baskets by a kid who could care less. They smile, say thank you and dig in. Their ankles hook around each other’s as they eat.

Their burgers are delicious. Tyler makes sure to comment on how this was the perfect place for them to come to and Josh thinks that's so sweet of him to try and reassure Josh that he did well.

“Thank you for even coming with me,” Josh says.

“Of course I was going to come,” Tyler says. “I really like you.”

And the way he says ‘like’ is different than his friends say ‘like.’ Josh’s stomach is suddenly filled with butterflies instead of burgers and fries. He swoons, smiles.

“I really like you too,” Josh says. Tyler is beautiful as he smiles with a bite of his lip.

They finish their meals, not a single bite or fry left over. It's a feat in itself and Josh is surprised to see Tyler pack away that much without getting sick.

“That was really good,” Tyler says, throwing his head back on the back of the bench, “but I think that was really bad for us.”

Josh laughs. “If it's delicious, chances are it's terrible for you.”

“And that was super delicious.”

They both giggle.

“Are you still up for dessert?” Josh says. “Their milkshakes are the best.”

“Let’s share one,” Tyler says. “I can't finish one on my own.”

They share a vanilla milkshake with only one straw. Josh delivers two wrapped straws, opens his own up and puts it in milkshake but Tyler politely brushes his unopened straw to the side in favor of using the same straw as Josh.

The punk doesn't mention it but decides that Tyler will be the death of him.

Josh is sipping away at the sugary dessert, saying something about how they used to put green food coloring in the vanilla shakes during Halloween and how even though it didn't taste different, that was still his favorite.

“So green is your favorite milkshake flavor?” Tyler asks before sipping at their shared straw.

“Green is my favorite milkshake flavor,” Josh says with a laugh as he bites his tongue between his teeth.

Tyler smiles too.

Without hesitation, Tyler brings his hand to Josh’s where it rests on the table so he can link their fingers together.

The touch is so natural to them now, Josh doesn't say anything. He continues with his milkshake preferences but Tyler seems to be more focused on how their fingers fit perfectly together.

Then, Tyler lifts their hands, leans in, and kisses the back of Josh’s hand.

It goes quiet.

Josh stares in surprise. It was usually him that kisses Tyler’s hand. He had never felt Tyler’s lips on him ever, but this, this was new and exciting and made Josh wanna lay face down on the table and fall into a fit of giggles in giddy embarrassment.

In that one action alone, the tips of Josh’s ears are burning and his heart is racing and his stomach is doing somersaults. He's a big guy, but Josh is rendered to complete mush at such a sweet gesture.

Tyler is still looking down at their hands as if he's only just realized what he's done. He stares in shock, almost too nervous to look up at the other man.

“Was…was that...okay?” Tyler finally looks up at him, unsure, uncertain.

Josh’s heart melts. He laughs softly.

Tyler watches with a blush dusting his cheeks as Josh brings their hands to his own lips and kisses Tyler’s knuckles.

“Of course that was okay, Tyler,” Josh says against Tyler’s knuckles. “It was perfect. You're perfect.”

Tyler squeezes Josh’s hand. Josh squeezes his hand back.

They smile together and Josh decides that this date is going more than fine.


	3. Chapter 3

They stand from the table, laughing and giggling about nothing, fingers intertwining.

They say a quick goodnight to the kid behind the counter who is now playing DS on their way out the door, the only answer being a short grunt.

It's still snowing outside and the air is colder. They've only taken a few steps into the parking lot toward the truck when Tyler slows and glances at the semi-wooded area a few yards away from the establishment.

The park beside the Dairy Queen is empty and covered in enough snow that you'd think it was snowing for a whole month already. The orange light of the streetlamps along the sidewalk reflect against the blanket of white and cause it to glow warmly.

It's magical.

Tyler squeezes Josh’s hand, looks up at him. “D-Do you think...we could take a walk?”

Josh smiles. “Whatever you want, Tyler. It's not too cold, though?”

“You’re here,” Tyler says quietly with a shy smile. He brings Josh’s hand closer to himself, resting his cheek against Josh’s shoulder. “You’ll keep me warm.”

They walk across the snow covered ground until they make it the the snowy sidewalk. They walk together, sharing in the beauty of nature and the first concrete sign of winter quickly approaching.

“It's really cold, huh?” Tyler says, shivering slightly. Josh instinctively pulls a little on his hand to get him closer, trying to keep him warm.

“We picked up some firewood today,” Josh says. “I can build you a fire when we get home.”

There's something archaic in that statement- building a fire for someone because you care so much for them that you can't bare to see them not warm.

Josh would build Tyler a million fires if it meant keeping him comfortable and safe.

Tyler seems to sense the intimacy of the statement because he steps closer into Josh’s side and smiles. “Thank you, Josh.”

It's mostly quiet between them but it's never uncomfortable. There's more smiles and quiet laughing at nothing, more shy nudges against Josh’s shoulder and a large thumb soothing Tyler’s frigid knuckles.

The sidewalk becomes increasingly covered with trees, the strip of concrete entering something similar to a small, patchy forest. It's not frightening considering the snow and the way the streetlamps over the sidewalk illuminate the path in deep orange light.

They look up at the barren canopy together, something nostalgic in the scene. Just like in Josh’s dream, the forest is calming but there's something different this time.

There's an absence of anxiety, of fear that was present when they had shared that dream. There are no tears, no pain.

It sincerely feels as though they are the only ones to exist on Earth at this very moment.

Tyler lets go of his hand and Josh is immediately turning to him, a small, confused grunt escaping him involuntarily at the feeling of the other not being beside him.

He watches as Tyler deviates from the sidewalk into the orange glow of the forest floor. He's so interested with the snow, it inspires a new appreciation for the phenomenon in Josh’s mind.

Tyler always makes him see things in a new light, is always helping him see the beauty in all things.

Josh smiles softly and follows him.

The spirit takes a few more steps into the forest before bending down to scoop up half a handful of snow. He stands back up, eyes never leaving the handful of ice that sits in his hand.

Josh stands behind him, captivated by how beautiful he is as snow falls around him and how the light beside them illuminates his face warmly.

“I’ve only ever seen snow in dreams,” Tyler says. “It’s so strange in dreams. It's never contained to one type of dream. It seems to...span emotion.”

The ghost of a smile graces Tyler’s lips.

“I’ve seen dreamers wander a snow-covered planet with a comforting gray atmosphere, each step taken making them feel more content with their existence. I’ve heard their laughter at watching their younger selves play in the snow with their families, made whole again, no longer broken. I’ve seen the souls of ailing men race through feet of soft snow like they were possessed by the purest spirit of joy.”

The ghost of a frown pulls at Tyler’s lips.

“But then I saw frightened dreamers standing in snow that fell so thick that they could only lose themselves in freezing loneliness. I stood in dreams where men laid on the floor of their broken foundation and cried ice until they were frozen over. I’ve seen dreams in which snow covers everything and destroys the will of men.”

Fluffy snow turns to water. He wiggles his fingers and lets it drip back to the ground in a few cold drops.

“It’s interested me for so long,” Tyler says. “It’s a gross contradiction; things die, suffocate under it. But then it melts and it is the water that nurtures life. It’s cold enough to make your toes ache through your shoes, but you somehow feel warm when you look at it.”

Tyler smiles genuinely, looks down at the ground where snow glistens like glitter around his feet. He leans his back against the tree directly behind him, hands sandwiched between his lower back and rough bark.

He finally looks to Josh who is watching him with an expression of pure adoration.

“I believe snow to be reflective of the human experience,” Tyler says, “and I am glad to be here to experience it.”

The snow falls all around them. It kisses Tyler’s cheeks, melting immediately. His smile is perfection.

“I'm glad to experience it with you, Joshua.”

Josh can feel a wave of emotion tickle just behind his Adam’s apple.

Beauty is the snow, Tyler says, but Josh could speak against that until his voice was lost because right here and now, he can see clearly that Tyle is the most beautiful thing to exist in the stillness of cold November’s first snow.

Tyler is warmth, gentleness, compassion, the most beautiful being in every way that Josh has ever seen. He is a fire in Josh’s chest, something that is changing him.

Josh steps closer.

A cold hand not yet numb but prickling with hyper-sensitivity slides through the mesh of falling white ice to find a home on Tyler’s cheek.

It's quiet, nothing but the soft patter of snow piling on top of itself.

Red eyes, brown. The clouds of their breath become one in a single body of warmth they have formed together, a new atmosphere in the cold that belongs only in dreams.

Tyler’s arms fall from his lower back so he can intertwine their fingers.

Josh comes close enough that he can taste vanilla on Tyler’s breath.

The freezing breeze seems to stop for a single second. There is stillness. There is silence. There is no time, no worry.

There is only each other and each other is all they need.

They kiss.

It’s slow, slower, never can be slow enough. It’s as if they’re trying to test the edges of the universe, trying to slow down time itself with their hypnotizing movements.

They’re guided by the twitches of the onslaught of emotion pouring through them from where their lips touch each other.

They're lost in a shy film of saliva, fleeting touches of burning tongue, edges of teeth gone cold from the wind that tries to slip between them.

Their lips silently ramble all about the times they've wanted to but hesitated, all the times they've doubted, all the times they've thought this would never happen.

Awe. Reverence. Love.

The very tips of their tongues touch and Josh swallows Tyler’s faint whimper. He soothes him with a soft hand on his cheek, caressing, and soft, almost inaudible whispers of comfort.

‘ _I’m here, you have me, I’m right here_.’

Tyler’s hand breaks from Josh’s to instead hold the front of his jacket. His loose, twitching grip erases any possibility of Josh ever leaving as weak fingers somehow hold like steel, never moving, never willing to let go.

They’ll be stuck here forever, Tyler denying him escape and Josh never asking for it, never dreaming of it. The snow will pile up around them and they’ll live in a cocoon of soft ice that is the epitome of a perfect existence.

A single strand of saliva connects their lips as Josh pulls away slowly. It’s thin and fragile enough that it could turn to an icycle between them but it breaks before the cold can commit it to this time forever.

Josh leans his forehead against Tyler’s.

He doesn't know what to say.

Is there anything to say?

He wants to say a lot.

Like how he's been thinking about this for so long, how he's so happy at this very moment but also terrified.

Josh may be in love with his best friend and that’s as amazing as it is scary.

Tyler can always see when he’s beginning to think too much. His eyes search Josh’s and then he tugs at the front of his jacket gently, eyes flying to his lips in silent question.

Josh leans in a little closer. Tyler is the one to ultimately reconnect their lips.

It's almost too much.

Josh’s hands are shaking and he feels weak but he somehow feels simultaneously warm and whole. His brain is blissfully hazy as his mouth slowly drifts from Tyler's to his jaw.

Josh’s trembling lips part to leave a single, open-mouthed kiss against the burning hot skin over Tyler’s pulse.

It’s tender. It’s slow. It's worship.

“ _Joshua_ ,” Tyler sighs. Slender fingers weave into bright blue hair and hold him gently.

They can still taste each other on their tongues. It's musky and sweet, tobacco and milkshakes. The backs of their hands are cold but their palms are warm together.

Josh’s arms wrap around Tyler’s waist. He holds him close, secure. Tyler’s arms are wrapped around his shoulders.

They hold each other and overwhelm each other in the best way possible.

It's just them, and that's all they need.

Snow falls.

They’re warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that it has taken 45,727 words for them to have their first kiss? Wow.


End file.
